Pizza Hut "Greedy Meat" Pizza (product information)

I'll be upfront and say I'm not sure if I'm translating the name of this pizza properly. And, in all honesty, I'm good with a bad translation because it makes for a much funnier product name. Being wrong in the service of being funny is something I do often, and more often intentionally than not. This sometimes gets pedantic people up in arms and makes them want to bitch slap me into "rightness", but that's okay. It's a win-win. They feel superior to what they perceive as my stupid self and I (hopefully) was funny. This is one of the small ways in which my meat-sack's presence on this planet is of a tiny service rather than simply taking up space.

Speaking of "meat sacks" (see how I cleverly segued there?), this is supposed to be an insane amount of meat though it is probably pretty anemic by American standards - of course, anything which isn't a bacon crust covered in meat is anemic by such standards. This is one of the very common types in Japan which offers four pizzas in one. The Japanese do enjoy and prefer variety, after all. This is Italian sausage with garlic, bacon, BBQ chikcen, and bulgogi.

Now, when I translate this, it comes out as "special horse" bulgogi, but I figure that can't be right. It has to be beef bulgogi prepared in a particular way that translates as "horse". It's not that I don't think that it could be horse as the Japanese do eat horse, but rather that it's really expensive. I'm sure someone out there who needs to feel smarter than me (and may indeed be smarter than me) will correct my bad translation and it'll all be win-win again.

(Okay, the truth is that "uma" is short for "umai" which means "delicious" or "tasty" in this case, but also means "horse" Sorry, smart people.)