Osaka Okonomiyaki Sembei

I have only been to Osaka once during my stay in Japan. In fact, a lot of people who ask me what cities I've been to here keep telling me I need to see more of them. I've been to Kobe, Osaka, Nikko, and of course all of the cities surrounding Tokyo and have investigated more nooks and crannies of Tokyo than the vast majority of Japanese folks. In fact, my husband and I went to Kappabashi several weeks ago and every Japanese person I told asked me why I went there. Kappabashi is known as "kitchen town" because it sells plastic food and restaurant supplies, but few Japanese people look into it.

My point is that I see no reason why one city or place has particular value over another, particularly when most people visit a city only to drop in at a particular shrine which resembles pretty much every other shrine and eat food at a restaurant which is the same general type of food that they eat in Tokyo and maybe go to a hot spring or walk around a park. I ask people why they think okonomiyaki, a sort of savory pancake which the kitchen sink is heaped onto, is different in Osaka as compared to Tokyo and the answers I get are pretty weak - the ingredients taste better because they are fresher. I'm pretty sure there is some variation, but I'm also pretty sure it's the type of thing only the most exquisitely refined palate can detect.

All of this is my roundabout way of saying I didn't buy these souvenir crackers because I haven't been to Osaka in ages, and I wouldn't choose these if I were to go again. Mind you, I liked Osaka when I visited, but I'm not going to pick up something which looks like someone barfed on a cracker and petrified it. In particular, I'm not going to go for something which smells incredibly fishy and talks about how it has mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is a friend of mine, mind you, and I enjoy it in moderation, but in Japan you never know if it's going to dominate whatever you are eating.

In the case of this cracker, it's the fishiness which offended my tongue. I don't have a problem with fish in general, but I don't like things which are fishy in flavor and that's where a lot of the taste of this dominates. The little colorful bits of what I presume may be vegetables appear to be largely ornamental and the mayo isn't an overbearing influence but is there.

I'm sure there are people with tastes that are suited to this cracker. I'm simply not one of them. I appreciate the gift, and the fact that these are made to resemble the food they're meant to taste like, but they're just not my type of thing.

Tirol Premium Shio Pine

Note: It has been pointed out to me that this is "shio" (salt) pine, not "shiro" (white) pine. You'd think that'd be clear from the big white letters written on it in English as well as the Japanese characters, but my addled upper-middle-aged brain missed that. That being said, there is nothing at all that is salty about this candy!

When I first saw this, I briefly entertained notions that it was going to be some sort of white pine flavor, like a pine nut, cone, or tree. I forgot all too quickly that "pine" in this case was "pineapple" and missed the fact that there were a bunch of yellow rings illustrating the package indicating the fruit this was supposed to taste like. This is surely an indication that I do not think in Japanese language, which is no surprise considering the fact that I spend most of my life speaking English despite where I live. Aside from asking, "how much is it", and "where is it," I rarely need to say much in Japanese. Yes, that may sound odd, but such is the life of an English teacher with an American husband. We don't all need to spend our nights trying to pick up natives in Roppongi and therefore have ample opportunity to speak the native tongue.

The fact that this is pineapple in no way disappointed me. I love pineapple, and it's one of those flavors that is harder to get wrong than others even if it is "shiro choco" (white chocolate). The combination of something with an acidic edge to it often cuts through the sweetness. The only way that Tirol was going to mess this up was to make the flavor too weak or the chocolate too sweet.

The chocolate is soft and cleaves rather easily with a knife, something which I value because it makes it easier to get a detailed shot of the interior. Inside, there is a little gummi candy topped with a few bits of crisped rice. Most of the pineapple flavor is in the gummi and lends a good bite and a fairy realistic pineapple flavor. The rice crispy bits add a nice textural contrast to the soft, sweet white chocolate exterior.

This is a tasty little candy that you can pick up at convenience stores now for about 20 yen (24 cents). It's a small morsel, about an inch (2.54 cm.) in diameter, and makes an enjoyable bite or two with a cup of tea. At only 54 calories, it also offers good portion control. If you're a fan of pineapple sweets, this is one that you don't want to miss.

Fujipan Lemon Cake

 "Born from an exhausting research of fine tastes. We provide a first-class taste brought directly from the earth." This is what Fujipan has written in elegant script on the front of the package of the lemon cake I'm about to review. I think that means these are baked by Morlocks, or the mole people. Either way, I'm inspecting it carefully before I take a bite to make sure there aren't any Eloi baked inside.

I found this cake in Seiyu supermarket's giant ass pile of baked goods. It looks like a yard sale of consumer-grade pastries after it has been liberally picked over and fondled by retirees and housewives who would rather fondle the baked goods than attend to their irate children. It was next to a lemon melon pan, and this won the contest for which one I'd buy because I knew my husband would split this large cake (about the size of two Hostess cupcakes) with me but not the melon pan. It cost a mere 100 yen ($1.21).

The cake has a lemon glaze on the outside and is split open ostensibly to pipe lemon cream into the center. While the glaze covers all of the top, the lemon cream is extremely sparse. In fact, there was probably a smidge (that's a technical term equivalent to about half a teaspoon) in my half. This is unfortunate because the cream is delicious with a strong zesty lemon flavor and a creamy richness. The rest of the cake is mainly skating by on two things, the texture and glaze.The cake iss moist, tender and slightly dense. The glaze is very lightly sweet and only cares a hint of lemon.

At about 340 calories, the whole cake is a bit of a calorie bomb, but if you can manage to muster up the self-control to only eat half, it makes a very nice treat for tea time or dessert. The texture is exceptional for a packaged cake and, while I could have done with more lemon in the glaze and definitely more of the lemon cream filling, I'm satisfied with the taste and sweetness level as well. I could definitely see buying this again.

Dars Mint

I wasn't aware of these Dars mint chocolates until they were mentioned to me in comments. Given my love of (almost) all things Dars, I headed off to a local convenience store to see if I could find them. They are new enough that not every place is stocking them, but I located a box at a Lawson's for 128 yen ($1.60).

I snapped up a box from the display case as well as a new Tirol chocolate for review later on and went to one of the two registers. One was occupied with a single customer and the other apparently free but the minute I stepped up to the register, the clerk bolted down to the other end of the counter and fussed around behind the other clerk. I patiently waited for her to return after doing whatever needed to be done. When she came back after about a full minute, the first thing she did was look at me and say, "just a minute please" and went to run off in the other direction. At this point, I figured it wasn't worth the time and I'd put the candy back and try another store. After I picked up my chocolates and went to put them back, she suddenly decided she could actually manage to do her job and accept my money for the goods on offer at the store. How gracious of her... Yeah, service in Japan is universally wonderful, except when it blows chunks as it occasionally does.

That's not a minty filling oozing out. It's water from the knife I used to cut this with so don't get your hopes up.

Getting to the Dars, the thing I love most about Dars is that it is creamy and fatty and unfortunately, that aspect is strangely missing from this. It is much firmer than usual and the chocolate is bittersweet with a good hint of mint which is neither overpowering nor too sweet. I have to wonder if the chocolate used in this is simply not milky enough for the rich, creamy feeling in the mouth that I associate with this particular brand name. Each candy, incidentally, is 22 calories so there isn't much of a calorie reduction coming along with a less creamy experience.

These are certainly nice enough. The flavor balance is good, but, as one of my commenters said, these are not my favorite mint chocolates. For a better quality experience with a similar flavor profile, I'd recommend After Eight mints. That being said, these are cheaper than those particular candies and at the moment easier to locate. The only thing I don't like about these is that they do have the aftertaste that I sometimes experience with Japanese chocolates which are on the bittersweet side. These are not the sort of thing you want to clear your palate after a meal, but rather just to satisfy a craving for mint and chocolate together. Soon after though, I need a cup of tea or to brush my teeth to wash away that aftertaste. I'm giving these a slightly grudging "happy" rating. I like them and will finish the whole box, but I'm not sure I'd buy them again.

Random Picture 66

Pirates of the Caribbean 4 has opened in Japan, and one of my students has gone to see it. She said that she thinks the movies are popular because people seem to like pirates. I think it's because we enjoy seeing Johnny Depp lurch about in eyeliner. The movie's release has spawned more than banal chitchat between my students and me. It has also compelled Yamazaki bakery to release sandwiches that use the movie for promotion. This specimen is a crust-less white bread tuna curry number. I was afraid to try it, lest I find myself wanting to cake on copious amounts of eyeliner and stumble around drunkenly.