Tyrant Habanero Black Curry (product information)

History has seen its fair share of tyrants - Caligula, Stalin, Pol Pot, and, of course, everybody's low-hanging fruit in the game of "name that maniac", Hitler. A lesser-known tyrant is, of course, Tyrant Habanero. It doesn't commit genocide, but rather attempts to slaughter your taste buds with insanely hot, salty snack treats. Of course, what it does to your mouth is nothing to compared to what it's going to do to the end of your digestive tract on the other way out. Oh, the humanity!

Tohato continues to expand it's line of mouth-burning snack treats with a black curry version of it's salty pressed food-stuff. The chips are shaped as you see them on the illustration. They're supposed to resemble naan bread, but that wasn't the first thing that came to my mind. Black curry is usually dyed with squid ink or some other coloring to make it that color. Word is that Sri Lanka has an actual black curry with unique spices, but I'm betting more on the squid-assisted variety in this snack than the more exotic option. If I can locate this at a Japanese market, I'll certainly give it a try. If any of my readers have sampled it already, I'd be curious to hear your impressions.

Kanro Penguin Candy (product information)

Kanro is selling a hard candy which is supposed to appeal to people who are starting to droop that they can pep up a bit by having their candy. Apparently, one is supposed to identify with the image of the penguin as illustrated. Usually, companies choose to show an aspirational image - what you want to look like - rather than what you already look like. This seems like it would have been a better choice than this somewhat sleep, unhappy, and indifferent penguin.

The candy is available at 7-11 and, while Kanro doesn't provide flavor information, you can see four colors on the front of the package that will give you a bit of a clue, though I'd wager on green being melon or apple rather than lime. Personally, I think having this in my desk drawer would tend to make me feel sleepy and depressed rather than make me think this was the place for a sugary pick-me-up. To each their own though. 

Burger King Garlic Meat Beast and Garlic Quatro Cheese (product information)

Click this image to load a bigger one.

Sometimes, I'd see a funky shirt in Japan and I'd think the person who wrote the Engrish on it just had to know that it was on the pervy side. Can someone name anything "meat beast" and not know what it sounds like? I don't like burgers and I don't eat fast food, but I'd have my husband buy this burger and try it (as he likes both garlic and meat) for no other reason than its name. I guess that makes this pretty good marketing whether they are aware of the connotations the English carries or not.

The beast has a chicken patty in addition to the beef and the quattro cheese has beef, a hash brown patty and four types of cheese - colby jack, two kinds of cheese sauce, and cheddar. All in all, they sound pretty decadent. 

McDonald's Squid and Tomato Italian Risotto Balls (product information)

Image from McDonald's Japan

I have never wanted to put quotes around something as much as the word "Italian" in the title of this post. I'm sure that there is nothing Italian about wrapping risotto infused with either tomato or squid around cheese and deep frying it. This abomination is part of McDonald's way of celebrating one of the world's most popular sports. There is no greater way to tip your hat to feats of athleticism than to eat fried balls of cheese and risotto. 

Tirol Cafe de Brasil Chocolates (product information)

The whole World Cup thing is a bandwagon that I am not jumping on. That being said, it's one which people around me seem to be hauling themselves onto. People who have shown no interest whatsoever in soccer are suddenly watching it. I was sitting outside a cafe in Palo Alto several days ago and a bar across the street was emanating yells about goals and I assume missed goals. I may not be interested in it, but I can't avoid it.

Even in Tirol's news, I can't avoid seeing soccer-related things. They're offering a coffee chocolate in a special soccer-themed box (which you can dump all of the chocolates out of and use two candies to play a game with, or so they make it seem with the above photo). The candy uses authentic Brazilian coffee beans (roasted). You can buy these for 32 yen (about 30 cents) at Circle K/Sunkus for the time being, though I don't know how you're supposed to get one of the boxes without buying up a ton of the candies (or if you can have the box at all).

Glico Kaneeza and Ebeeza Crackers (product information)

Images are from Glico.

Some names of products and places sound like they should be the names of something else. This is something which Dave Barry pioneered when he wrote so often about something or other "being a good name for a rock band." However, my husband and I take this more than a step beyond Mr. Barry's convention. We hear a new name and say it would be a good name for, well, whatever category it sounds like it fits in.

The names of these new crackers from Glico, which are named in accord with the "Cheeza" line, bring a certain type of naming to mind... at least to me. When I heard these names, the thing I thought of is that these would make great names for a couple of alien planets in Star Trek. That would be "The Next Generation", not the original series - I'm sure you were thinking the same thing.

Kaneeza (which also reminds one of a contorted sneeze) are crab crackers. Ebeeza (which really sounds like a city in Egypt) are shrimp crackers. If I run across these, I won't touch the shrimp version as I'm a shrimp hater of long-standing and I wouldn't want to endanger my status. I may give the crab version a shot because I used to like crab cakes and I'm guessing these crackers have about as much real crab in them as the average crab cake. That is to say, not very much - Glico says they're 3% crab whereas the Ebeeza ones are 30% shrimp.

These are what are called otsumami in Japan, or snacks to be consumed with alcoholic beverages. I'm guessing that the amount of real crustacean in their cracker will not be among the highest of priorities.

KitKat raspberry adult sweetness (product information)

Nestle Japan is reissuing their raspberry flavor "adult sweetness" KitKat. I already reviewed this product when it was initially released. It is a pretty tasty variation and I'd recommend giving it a try if you're a fan of "framboise" or just like to try exotic KitKats in general. The packaging has been revamped and you can get it in two sizes, though both sizes contain mini bars. Candysan will be carrying both sizes for reasonable prices (it's currently out of stock, but I believe this reflects the fact that it is newly re-released and that they will have stock soon).

I'm a little disappointed that this flavor is being reissued rather than a new one being introduced, but, as I said in yesterday's review, I'm not surprised. Nestle Japan has been taking an increasingly conservative approach to its KitKat line, and probably for good reason. 

Tyrant Habanero Guacamole Rings (product information)

I can get my hands on no small amount of Japanese snack food. In fact, I could fill this blog with daily reviews if I wanted to and never run out of options just based on what can be had locally. However, that would be problematic because I'd have to eat an entire package of food or toss a lot of stuff out (not to mention that it'd be expensive), so you get two reviews a week and news pieces like this.

One of the things that I haven't seen available, however, is the line of super spicy Tyrant Habanero salted snack rings. In Japan, I loved these things. They are super hot, and I'd have to be careful not to eat too many (because, as one of my web acquaintances remarked, they taste good going in, but aren't such a great experience coming out), but I really had a thing for them. I tried some of their other products with mixed results, but the rings never let me down.

Tohato has released a line of these spicy rings coupled with the creamy flavors of avocado. As you can see by the pepper scale on their ad above, this is a three out of five, so not as hot as their usual fare. I would be all over trying this is I could get my  hands on it.

If you're interested in a little Tyrant Habanero fun, you can play a Space-Invaders-style game here. You don't need to understand the Japanese. You just click to choose your ship style when the option comes up (and click "skip" on the intro since you can't read it anyway). You can also download some, frankly, pretty ugly wallpapers if you're so inclined. Those can be had here. Note that the top ones are movies. The bottom ones are images that you can download.

McDonald's Avocado Burgers (product information)

When I was 19 years old, I decided to stop eating beef and pork. That put a whole world of food out of my reach because, back in those days, most people didn't eat chicken unless they were too poor for beef or it came fried in a bucket and turkey as a mainstay of regular eating hadn't yet become a part of the American food culture. I know this because I listened to my 22-year-old self on an ancient tape (1987) tell my future husband (then merely a pen pal) about turkey burgers. He had no experience with those tubes of ground turkey that I was then using as a way of substituting for cheeseburgers. I recall very well that they were not only lower in calories and tastier (at least in my estimation), but also much cheaper. Oh, how things have changed... these days, if it is leaner, healthier, and better for you, it is more expensive. Taste no longer rules the roost when it comes to cost.

The prices of avocados are going up due to drought and I guess random needs to charge more for sources of healthy fat and highly nutritious food. I don't know if avocados were cheap 27 years ago, but I'm betting they weren't nearly as popular nor as valued. All I know is that they are now $2 each when they were a dollar each or less two years ago. In light of this, it seems odd that McDonald's is offering avocado burgers. Of course, I believe those generous chunks of avocado as seen on the picture above are a big, fat lie, but they'll have to make it noticeable if they're going to live up to the name.

There are three choices of burger: beef with bacon, onion, cheddar and wasabi; fried chicken with cheddar cheese and what they call a "Cobb salad" sauce which includes coriander, chili and black pepper; a fried shrimp patty with the same Cobb salad sauce (no cheese). Each burger comes on a ciabatta roll which I'm sure will be as fresh and tasty as if it had come from an Italian bakery. 

Pizza Hut "Supporter's Box" (product information)

One of the customs that is popular in the U.S. is for people, mostly men, to come together and watch sports while ingesting large quantities of nutritionally suspect food and intoxicating beverages. In Japan, this is done as well, but generally not in people's homes. The idea of what they often refer to as a "home party" (a get-together with friends that usually involves food and drink) is still a little alien to them since Japanese folks take entertaining and hostessing much more seriously than Americans do.

At any rate, this offer from Pizza Hut seems designed to help encourage people, mostly men, to eat junk food and watch sports. In this case, the sport would be soccer, or, as the non-Americans call it, football. For 2,680 yen (about $26 U.S.), you get a split pizza with your choice of four possibilities: margherita, teriyaki, avocado and shrimp, or meat (Iberico ham, bacon, sausage). You also get several side dishes including corn, chicken wings or tiny drumsticks, and roast potato wedges. As someone who bought a Pizza Hut pizza, I recommend the "paku chiki" or spicy chicken drumsticks as well as the potato wedges. As an addition, they will also give you a small packet of mayonnaise to draw a soccer pitch and goal post on your pizza, or at least that is what the illustration seems to be suggesting.

McDonald's Happy Set Toys (product information)

I occasionally read advice columns to see what sort of problems people feel they need third-party assistance with. Often, it's something along the lines of someone has been invited to a wedding that includes a shake-down for cash rather than allowing them to just buy a gift and do they have the Agony Auntie's permission to not pony up some dough. Of course, all of them say "there, there, you don't have to capitulate to this emotional blackmail for money."

At any rate, one of the more interesting letters was from a woman who ran a playgroup and had a nanny who was stopping a little boy from playing with the "girl's" toys like dolls, plastic ponies and unicorns, and, er... tampons, or whatever little girls play with these days. I wasn't a girly girl when I grew up so I'm not sure what they tend to pay attention to. At any rate, the playgroup's organizer wanted to tell the nanny to stop being so gender-biases and let the little boy play with whatever he wanted to fondle. When I saw these two starkly different sets of toys, I was thinking this is exactly the sort of thing that would get those two women fighting.

The gender lines for these sets is pretty clear. Boys are supposed to be drawn the Ultraman set on the left and girls to the Aikatsu goods on the right. The colors alone tell the story of what little boys and girls should choose, but the dainty, frilly accessories also indicate clearly that the Aikatsu junk is for the set which will one day be sashaying around an office trying to attract a suitable breadwinner for her family. After all, what is all that plastic jewelry for if not to draw attention to oneself?

The boys, apparently, are supposed to content themselves with superhero torsos on little plastic bases. I think they'd actually have more fun putting on the headbands and singing into the microphone. How can you role play superheros when they don't have a pelvis or legs?

These items became available on April 18 (duh, as you can see by the ad). If you'd like your kids to either embrace or reject gender lines, get out there and buy them some Happy Sets and collect suitable plastic crap.

Starbucks Banana Chocolate Cream Frappucino (product information)

Bananas are one of the most accessible types of fruit in Japan. They're cheap and you can buy them nearly anywhere including conveninece stores. Of course, they tend to not be very tasty or sweet compared to some of the bananas you can get in other places (at least the Tokyo ones). I'm guessing this Starbucks concoction is going to be quite a bit sweeter and tastier than the standard imported banana (which I believe come from the Philippines). You really can't go wrong with chocolate and cream, though I'm guessing this won't live up to its potential if the banana is fake.

If you find yourself ordering one of these (I wouldn't try this as I love bananas, but not things flavored with banana), let me know what you think. 

Glico Pocky Snoopy Package and Cart (product information)

One of the quaint things about riding the Shinkansen is that people sometimes come by pushing a cart with food. I haven't ridden trains in the U.S., so it's possible that it happens here as well. The whole custom of doing so reminds me of old-style rail travel (especially in Europe/the U.K.) in which people used to eat food served in a similar style.

One thing which is not so old-fashioned is the idea of a Peanuts cart which sells Pocky - some of it in special packaging. It's a cute idea. I'm sure that the Pocky are the same as usual and that they can be purchased via other outlets, but it would be nifty to see one of these while actually on a shinkansen (bullet train).

The Pocky that is contained in the special Peanuts packages is largely the same flavors as standard Pocky issues. There's a "cookie crunch" version (on the right) which I hadn't seen before, but it doesn't sound like a particularly inspiring flavor. If you're a Peanuts fan, these are going to make a pretty cool collectible, though not as cool as the cart (which would be a lot harder to get your hands on).

Mini Stop One-Handed Okonomiyaki (product information)

For those who don't know what okonomiyaki is, it's what is often referred to as a "savory pancake", though I've often seen it as more akin to a floury omelette. This is a very poor translation as it tends to be a much messier and complicated mess than a pancake. The idea that a convenience store can craft a version that you can eat with one hand is not so much revolutionary or evolutionary as de-evolutionary. I can't see this as anything but a step backward in food craft, and the description of this specimen only supports my sense of this.

The image above this paragraph is from a box of Osaka okinomiyaki sembei that I reviewed in the past. That is what okonomiyaki usually looks like and you can see that it's a complex affair which in no way resembles the slab of substances above with an egg on top.

The Mini Stop version touts its fluffy texture as well as the fact that there are wieners mixed into the dough. Wieners. I'm no expert in okonomiyaki, and I know that there are tons of regional versions, but I've never heard anyone talk about wieners in their Japanese pancake. They also mention that cabbage, bonito, and sausage (all flavored with soy sauce) are a part of their handheld abmonination.

Honestly, the whole thing as a food item doesn't sound that bad. In fact, it does seem that it has potential to be a unique savory option which would be good for a quick morning meal as long as you didn't care about your cholesterol levels. As handheld okonomiyaki, well, it's kind of like selling pizza rolls as if they were actually pizza.

McDonald's Japan's "Big" (and even bigger) Breakfasts (product information)

It's interesting to see McDonald's Japan offering a "Big Breakfast" (available until 10:30 a.m. where available) because my impression of the sorts of "traditional" Japanese breakfast that I keep reading about on the internet but rarely heard anyone eat is that they are actually pretty "big". If you haven't read about it, we Western folks are told that Japanese people eat rice, fish, and miso soup for breakfat. To us, that's dinner, but there was a time when that was the common deal in Japan. Most of my students told me that ate "bread" (i.e., toast or a bun of some sort) with tea or coffee and sometimes some sort of cup-a-soup (like corn potage).

So, the idea that the breakfast on offer at McDonald's are "big" compared to what we're told Japanese eat is a strange one. It's only big compared to what my former students and I tended to eat because I'm with them in this regard - coffee and some sort of baked item is the norm.

Getting to the point though, I think it's interesting to note what passes for "big" in Japanese marketing. There are actually two versions. The one I'd term "big" is scrambled egg product, a sausage patty, an English muffin with available packets of jam, and a hash brown. To a great extent, this appears to be a deconstructed Egg McMuffin plus a hash brown. The "bigger" version (marketed as "deluxe" in Japan) also includes a couple of pancakes.

The deluxe will provide you with 934 calories of power to start your day being shoved on crowded trains, hiking to the office, and pushing papers around and nodding and saying "hai" ("yes") to everything the boss suggests. This is quite a wallop considering that Denny's grand slam (original) is a punier 770 calories for 3 eggs with cheese, two bits of bacon or sausage, and your choice of hash browns, bread, or grits. 

The big one is a more meager 628 calories. I guess that's the daintier version - perhaps more appropriate for the office lady crowd. My breakfast tends to be between 200-300 calories total, so I have to say that McDonald's does appear to be delivering on bigness, at least in terms of caloric load.

A Plethora of Tirol Choco Releases (product information)

All images come from Tirol.

I can't hit every single new snack every week because there just aren't enough hours in the day, but, when I finally checked Tirol's web site, I felt like I'd seriously fallen down on the job. They've got a little crazy for spring, so I'll get cracking on talking about what is out there.

At the top of this post, there are special bags of dinsaurs depicted in a game called AR3D. I had never heard of this game before, but it is an Android application and Tirol is more than happy to give you at directions for how to play if you're unfamiliar with it. They've also rather graciously posted all 100 of the graphics for you to see so that you know exactly which ones you still need to collect.

For the less game-happy set, they've got some releases that mimic traditional spring flavors and sweets. Sakura mochi, which includes green tea powder, a "mochi" gummi center, sakura (cherry blossom) pink chocolate and a chocolate base should set your inner office lady afire.

For the more conservative set, Tirol has a green tea mochi variety. This also includes a gummi center to mimic the chewy nature of stretchy pounded rice cake with green tea powder and white chocolate.

Finally, lest the traditional sorts feel over-catered to and the kids feel under-served, there's one more new product which seems geared toward the younger set. This is a rice puff chocolate which promises to be both crunchy and light. My experience with these in the past has yielded a fairly sweet chocolate base to cater to the palates of the diminuitive set.

It's clear that after the post-holiday lull, the push is on for spring releases. It'll give everyone something to nosh on while they view the cherry blossoms.

McDonald's Sakura Burger

Recently, I conducted a Skype lesson with one of my former face to face students from Japan. She pointed out to me that my picture for Skype was the McDonald's Sakura burger. I told her that it was an ancient picture that I really should change. The reason I put it up there was that I had the picture on my desktop, likely for this blog (though I think I never used it). My student pointed out that this burger was being re-released, so I checked it out and, it is back (released March 21).

The burger is supposed to have a "faint cherry scent" and you can see that the bun has some pink in it. The meat is a pork patty and it includes teriyaki sauce and an egg (it's called sakura teri tama - cherry teriyaki egg). The sauce is mayonnaise based and also includes ginger. Frankly, it all sounds like a real mess of flavors which probably don't have a good chance of meshing. I wouldn't touch this burger with a ten-foot-pole, but then I wouldn't touch any fast food burger. If you give this a try, let me know if all of the flavors play nice together.

Country Ma'am Banana Bread and Brownie Cookies (product information)

Country Ma'am is releasing two new flavors, one of which is a bit on the unusual side for Japan. The web site mentions that "banana bread" is "like pound cake" in the U.S. That's not quite right, and it actually is irrelevant to the cookies, but the fact that they feel it is necessary to explain that shows just how unusual banana bread is in Japan. It's not strange to find the occasional "banana cake" or muffin, but not "bread". The promotional material tells us that the banana version is made with Philippine bananas and has the smell of wheat. The brownie version boasts California almonds and, again, the promotional material asserts that mixing nuts in brownies is an American thing.

If you've never had Country Ma'am cookies, they're known for being crispy on the outside and a bit soft and fudge-like on the inside. If you pop them in a microwave for a short time, then they heat up as something akin to a fresh-baked cookie... or akin to a freshly baked mass-manufactured shelf-stable cookie. They're actually pretty good and occupy a unique niche in the Japanese market. These two varieties are sold currently in small five-packs. My guess is that they are most easily located in convenience stores and I'm unlikely to encounter either variety at Japanese markets here. If I find one though, I might give it a try.

Haagen Dazs Mango Crispy Sandwich (product information)

If I had any doubt that the mango fad continues to march ahead unabated in Japan, the choice of mango ice cream for a Haagen Dazs crispy sandwich proves that fact. In fact, I'm starting to wonder if mango is going to join tiramisu as one of those fads that never fades away and remains in the mainstream for decades. I can't say that it would surprise me since mango is, of course, pretty awesome. However, I was not a fan of this line of ice cream sandwiches in Japan. The "crispy" shell in my experience took on moisture form the ice cream and lost some of its snap. It was also fairly brittle and tended to flake and crumble more than a conventional ice cream sandwich.

Beyond that, I made my own mango "ice cream" by buying bags of frozen mango pieces from "Lawson 100" (100 yen per bag) and adding a little milk to it and blending it in a Magic Bullet or food processor. You can't really get more "mango" than that. Sorry, Haagen Dazs. 

Pizza Hut "Greedy Meat" Pizza (product information)

I'll be upfront and say I'm not sure if I'm translating the name of this pizza properly. And, in all honesty, I'm good with a bad translation because it makes for a much funnier product name. Being wrong in the service of being funny is something I do often, and more often intentionally than not. This sometimes gets pedantic people up in arms and makes them want to bitch slap me into "rightness", but that's okay. It's a win-win. They feel superior to what they perceive as my stupid self and I (hopefully) was funny. This is one of the small ways in which my meat-sack's presence on this planet is of a tiny service rather than simply taking up space.

Speaking of "meat sacks" (see how I cleverly segued there?), this is supposed to be an insane amount of meat though it is probably pretty anemic by American standards - of course, anything which isn't a bacon crust covered in meat is anemic by such standards. This is one of the very common types in Japan which offers four pizzas in one. The Japanese do enjoy and prefer variety, after all. This is Italian sausage with garlic, bacon, BBQ chikcen, and bulgogi.

Now, when I translate this, it comes out as "special horse" bulgogi, but I figure that can't be right. It has to be beef bulgogi prepared in a particular way that translates as "horse". It's not that I don't think that it could be horse as the Japanese do eat horse, but rather that it's really expensive. I'm sure someone out there who needs to feel smarter than me (and may indeed be smarter than me) will correct my bad translation and it'll all be win-win again.

(Okay, the truth is that "uma" is short for "umai" which means "delicious" or "tasty" in this case, but also means "horse" Sorry, smart people.)